Asexuality & Being Ace!

"For a long time, I didn't know what I was. I knew what I wasn't. I wasn't interested in boys. But I really wasn't interested in girls"

- Tim Gunn.

This is an educational little post. I have recently been embroiled in many discussions and debates regarding my sexuality. In case you don't know and didn't bother reading the title, I am asexual. It's a simple concept: we are simply people who do not feel any urges to do the sexy time. We're not children. We don't have hormone issues. We are, in general, healthy and happy (enough). We just have no desire for sex. Easy to understand, huh?

Apparently not.

Whilst people rarely argue against the existence of heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality, they just cannot wrap their minds around the idea of no sexuality at all. Sexuality is assumed to be an all encompassing thing - something that every post-adolescent human has. But humanity is so much more complex than that and, for whatever reason, some of us end up with zero sexual urges whatsoever. I know because I am like that.

If you're wondering, my particular "brand" of asexuality is homoromantic asexuality. That means I am romantically attracted to females but experience no sexual attraction. "What's the difference?" I hear you cry. Well, romantic attraction is when you want to be in a couple-y relationship with someone. You know the sort, going out to dinner and watching DVDs in bed and buying chocolates on Valentine's Day. I'm also cool with hugging, holding hands and kissing but that differs from person to person - some asexual people find kissing to be too sexual and find no pleasure or interest in it. Sexual attraction is when you want to screw someone. I've never felt that so I can't go into any more detail but I think it describes itself, really.

I can't be bothered to quote any facts or statistics (it's late and I'm tired!) so I'll just direct you to AVEN. It's the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network, I believe. Just type AVEN into your internet browser and it should come up. It's a pretty good website and should answer any and all questions you may have. If it doesn't, feel free to ask me what you want to know in the comments below.

From a little AVEN search myself, I discovered that aces sometimes wear a black ring to identify themselves to other aces. After being slightly put out that I wasn't informed of this earlier, I of course began looking for black rings and I found a beautiful one. Soon I will be in on this not-so-secret identification method, mwah ha ha!

I reckon that's it for now. This isn't going to be my last post on the matter of asexuality. I plan to do a post on the discrimination I've faced due to being asexual (plus screenshots. Funnily enough, people don't have the balls to tell me I don't exist to my face) and maybe I will see if I can find other asexuals to interview for a post. Might even do a post on percentages and whatnot for the people who weren't curious enough to go to AVEN. Which is totally fine, no one's forcing you to be interested if you find the subject completely snoresville.

Anyway, I must be away to bed. That's numero uno on the Asexual Agenda. Ta-ra!